Damo Reviews: Rise of Skywalker

The public reaction to this film is a sad bellwether for the state of the Star Wars franchise. When this incoherent nonsense and mawkish pablum is praised as "fun" simply because it wasn't as bad as The Last Jedi or Solo, much in the same way that pouring hot sauce in your eyes is preferable to having your genitals burned with a curling iron, your intellectual property has serious issues. And Star Wars has been in critical condition for a long time. There was a slight pulse when Jon Favreau gave it some CPR, but now Abrams is back to finish the job, smothering it with a pillow like a disgruntled Praetorian. I can't entirely fault JJ Abrams for this one. Admittedly his lack of ability kicked this whole mess off, but it's not his fault that Rian Johnson drove Star Wars off a cliff, into a crevasse, salted the earth so that it might never grow again and then pissed on the corpses just to be sure of things. Ernest Hemmingway couldn't have written the trilogy out of that mess, no less someone with the middling talent of JJ Abrams and his trademark "here's some cool concepts I'll never flesh out in any way." The script is horrible, stupid and insipid. Not as sanity-rendingly abysmal as The Last Jedi, not as dull and uninspired as Solo, but still 12 parsecs from anything resembling a good movie. The worst thing is that Star Wars has shown us that it can be good in the modern age - The Mandalorian is exquisite. Which makes Ruse of Snoteater all the worse. Being awful is one thing, but being capable of making something great and choosing not to is an insult to everyone who ever called themselves a fan. The positive reviews for this film are coming from those fans who have been so beaten down by the dross of talentless clowns like Abrams and Johnson that they've developed Stockholm Syndrome - just tell everyone on the internet that you fell down some stairs when you rediscovered your childhood.

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